return my video game
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize