problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
