At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
