I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
