So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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