shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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