NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
