highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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