I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"