At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months