butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I could fuck to npr.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.