A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.