I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
