eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
