this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
