Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
