Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
