At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
