This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
