hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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