I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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