Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my phone needs a breathalizer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.