jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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