I met the friendliest cop last night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
