like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
