if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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