I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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