I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
