K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
