if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
