i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
