u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
