hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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