Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
