Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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