You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
