i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
