she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
