whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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