Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize