You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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