You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
