Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
