dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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