It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
