Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
