i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
