her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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