the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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