I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
