i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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