is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i think we sleep fucked last night...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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