i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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