Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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