If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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