Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
