It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
