You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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