Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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