So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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