I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My life is pants optional.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
