that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize