Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
