I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
