its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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