But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
