$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
