At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Someone shit on the floor
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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